1. The sun doesn’t shine out of your ass, sweetheart.
2. Careful with that shriek! Your excitement can be deafening.
3. Wow, you’ve crawled out from under that rock all by yourself. We’re in 2010. The text books you like to quote from, are now ancient scriptures.
4. Oh, I’m so sorry.. did that guy 3 years your junior tell you to f%^&off? How does it feel to be the yell-ee, and not the yeller for once?
5. That crystal ball you pretend to be gazing into, has self-immolated. Have faith, move a finger.
6. To be coherent. Is it asking for too much?
7. The % of tribal men in South Asia who like to dance naked on moonlit nights is not available on any “reliable” sources. Sue me.
8. Getting home before 9 pm on one’s birthday is for sissies. Thanks for helping me build character.
9. No, there’s no better way of showing your appreciation than passing off my work as your own.
10. Ofcourse your hunch is as good as my 10-page long research. Next time, I’ll wait for your glazed look rather than “using” my Sunday.