Bad Mom Confesses

I don’t know why this takes more balls to admit than admitting that I might be a bad wife or daughter or employee or whatever. I am talking about being a bad mum. Part of me wishes it is exhaustion and boredom talking, and that it will subside soon. But another part of me knows that I have been faltering in many ways when it comes to being Anushka’s primary caretaker. Her TV time is out of control. Her meal times are haywire. She has been unwell of late and here’s the kicker: last night when she was burning with fever, all I needed was for her to go back to sleep so I could go to sleep. I just needed the night. I didn’t want to deal with anything in that moment. This morning, I’m being hit with a special kind of guilt. Maybe this public admission is also my selfish way of seeking a few words of support, but right now, my child needs support. Other than me. Despite me claiming to be there all the time.

In the journey of motherhood with its relentless cycle of crests and troughs, this is undeniably a low.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Bad Mom Confesses

  1. Not that I know much about motherhood, all I can say is it doesn’t and should’t take away from being a human being. You know, with the eccentricities, a little selfishness, a lot of love, some anger, a lot of letting go.. The works. Don’t be disappointed in yourself. She is a happy kid and will be proud of her human mother sooner than later.

    And I grew up on a lot of stolen TV and internet. Turned out alright, even if I say so myself 🙂

    So take a deep breath. Hugs.

  2. Okay, firstly bad moms are the new black. We are the ones keeping it real. I say down with all those supermoms who are making the rest of us look bad.

    Secondly, a person who feels bad mom guilt is very, very far from being a bad mother. We have somehow arrived at a place where we think that we are terrible parents if we are not switched on 24-7, tuned to our offspring’s every need. I think we harm them more than we help them when we do that. Kids are resilient. And we are human beings with needs of our own.

    Lastly, if you are feeling overwhelmed, get help. Primary caregiver and all is fine but primary caregivers need some time to recharge their batteries too. So whether it is a nanny or daycare or family help, consider it seriously. It will make you a better parent, not a worse one.

    • You have no idea how much your words mean right now! The last bit really hit home. I need to find help and soon; though it has also been an issue of finding the right fit till now, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that there’s been insecurity and the feeling of wanting to do it all that’s been stopping me so far.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s