Day 4: Addiction

Just the second day and I am short of things to say. This morning, I caught myself thinking how much time I waste these days and decided to do a listing of how much time I spend doing various activities daily. In just a couple of days, I was looking at quite a few bitter revelations. I think there’s more unproductive time in my day these days than there’s productive. Of course, I could blame this on the funk I’ve been in, but even so, I need to change something very quickly for my own sanity. Isn’t confession the first step of change? So I’m laying it all out bare here, so whoever reads this page can also tell me how you deal with any (or all!) of these addictions that steal away our time:

– No prizes for guessing, the number one has to be the Internet.I swear, I have looked up symptoms of Internet addiction for my..ummm.. condition. It’s one thing to sit with a cup of tea and browse through your reading list or favourite blogs, but it’s entirely another to start reading a page, go back and click all the links in it and suddenly discover that the clock has moved 4 hours ahead. I don’t know what or how I am going to do something about this (I did think about giving up the broadband connection at home and shuddered immediately), but for now, I am thinking of trying to define some browsing time over the day and attempt to stick to that.

– When I’m not refreshing Twitter like a maniac or reading something off Thought Catalog, I’m day-dreaming about something and that, these days, changes into worrying about something or the other. I know. How very productive. I don’t know how one thing sets off another trail of things but I’m more than capable of always identifying and over-thinking about the worst outcome of all. This reeks of pessimism, I’m aware. It’s pretty recent and well, one of my more unpleasant addictions. I believe this has to do with having some extra time on my hands and these days, and should sort itself out when I get busier. I hope.

Bad TV. Seriously. There’s something about sitting through episodes of Two and a Half Men or HIMYM or Grey’s Anatomy while being only half-aware of what’s going on. I think it just gives me a sense of being occupied with something when really, it doesn’t take up any active mindspace and I can just lie there being lazy and un-guilty about it. 😀 It’s getting so addictive that I don’t even really mind re-reruns and that’s just criminal waste of time.

– This one is so ironical I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. A large portion of my somewhat-productive (I really can’t decide) time goes into making To-Do Lists.  Long, elaborate lists that never get done.

Do any of you do these things and later regret them too? Any ideas?

Marathon Blogger


Day 3: Celebration

I’ve been missing in action a long time and most of that can be attributed to just how many curve-balls life has thrown me the past few days. Before I let the whining take over, I will explain what brings me here. Some of the older blogger peeps whom I used to read rather religiously, like Monika and Rohini, have initiated an effort to come back to blogging and writing more regularly. I’ve been wanting to do just that and this seems like an opportunity where getting the oft-required nudge might be easier than finding self-motivation. However, given my current state of my mind and life, I am setting myself up for at least 20 days of blogging in December under this Blog Marathon and not all 31 (having missed 2 days already and setting real targets etc.) Here goes today’s post:

Marathon Blogger

Yesterday, the husband A and I celebrated the third anniversary of our wedding day. Three years of being married and nearly six of having been together seem to have just fit into my life story like they were always supposed to, and yet my wedding day seems like a blurry memory from far far away. I don’t know if the learning curve in a marriage continues to be this steep when you step into, say, double digit years of being married to each other but so far, I can distinctly see how different I am as a person and a partner than I was three years ago.  I don’t think I have written about A very often, and I do dislike mushy public proclamations of love but this once, it doesn’t feel overt. Through many of my phases and moods and illnesses, he has been my rock and my best friend this year. I’m still going through a rather uncertain and stressful phase, and the one thing I never need to worry about is having his support in doing the right thing. With the hand I’ve been dealt, I am the weak one this time and as I lean on him to do the thinking and the motivating and the other tiring work these days, I cannot help but be thankful for him being who he is. My favourite memory of this year, grim like the tone of this post, has to be from August. Fighting the chicken pox and the fever and the headaches and the itchiness that come with it, I burst into tears and was crying pitifully unable to sleep one night. The meds were taking their time to ease my discomfort and I felt the worst ever. A, who must have been stressed and worried and tired like anyone dealing with a sick person at 3 a.m. will be, gave up on telling me practical things like trying to sleep, drinking more water and just started singing for me. It was so peaceful listening to him that I did manage to smile after a while and actually fall asleep. I woke up after a while to still find him humming and fell asleep again. It was a moment that will stay with me whenever I find myself being selfish and unreasonable with him.

Happy Anniversary to us 🙂