Nothing explains it

Tiptoeing in here after four weeks. It’s been so long since I logged into blogger that suddenly, I could not even recognize the Dashboard page. And that’s true of so many things. I have been away from a movie hall so long that I cannot, for the life of me, remember the taste of caramel popcorn anymore. Not been to a mall so long that my mind is starting to lose its unfailing trust in retail therapy. There are so many ideas in my head.. and some of them down have made it down here in the Drafts bin.. half-written, half-felt and left to die. A few minutes into serious typing, ideas seem too frivolous/controversial/personal/idiotic to actually post. Very much like the Konkona Sen ad where she says that “Maybe the problem is not laziness, but something deeper like you need Women’s Horlicks” (that always leaves me wondering if she meant to say that maybe the problem isn’t that you need Women’s Horlicks, but something deeper like you’re hopelessly lazy, because that sure makes more sense). Digression ends here. Have you ever felt that all you want to do is stop thinking and lay back and listen to some good music? Or that the only way to make the most of this evening might be in drinking yourself silly and then trying to say the alphabet backwards? Or that you want to buy ALL the stuff in that wishlist… TOOOODAY? I have. And none of that has been carried out so far. (Right now, like 10 milliseconds back, I realized that this post is basically going nowhere and is going to be worth nobody’s time and it won’t make any sense, but that I should still make it a 1000 words longer and then post it. Don’t ask) But I can see some reasons why this could be. It could be because my job.. well, how does one put it mildly and amicably AND without being laughed at.. sucks! Sundays are like the light at the end of tunnel that I kept seeing all week through, and then it didn’t even have the decency to pass by slowly.. just whooshing past obscenely. It could also be that nobody I like and want to meet is in Delhi. So, if all a poor girl like me wants to do is hog on KFC buckets, watch Fashion and go blowing up my money on shoes that NEVER look good on my feet, I need to go to Mumbai for it. That would be fine if the fuckin’ aviation industry in this country understood the issues of the stressed-out generation we freshly baked MBAs are, and sold cheap tickets. It could also be that I am sick of trying to be politically correct. At work, at home, even on this goddamned blog. Because that’s one thing that extracts serious effort out of me. You cannot explain to people at your workplace that after a week of tolerating them, you cannot be expected to go for a drink with them on Friday night because it’s downright unfair on you and that you’d much rather have a rocking time sitting at home and staring into the nothingness of your room. You cannot go tell people at home that you do not feel like meeting uncle X and his wife Y, because you cannot – for the nth time – smile at them AND resist the urge to throw something at them when they try to guess your age and then declare how many eons past the marriageable age you are. You cannot write about how pissed you are at the Raj Thackeray fiasco because well, he is an idiot and not much else without having some rats snoopin’ around here wag their tails and scream “Maaro, maaro”. Other than these, one reason could also be that I haven’t tried to get myself out of the rut that is home-office-home on weekdays and home-home-home on weekends. The coming weekend is sure to be fun, because A is in town.. Woohoo! But the idea is to atleast pretend to possess some life on other weekends as well. This might well be the beginning of a life lived every Friday and Saturday. Ok, this reminds me of another Konkona Sen Women’s Horlicks ad.. something that goes.. “Aaj apni badi si To Do list ko dekh kar ehsaas hua, ki apni list mein apna hi naam nahi hai”.. So, errr, she wants her “To Do” list to have her name.. hmmm.. gives me ideas. (What’s wrong with me, why do I remember ads in such detail?) Anyway, I hope you had a nice week and weekend. You hope that I will too, the next time. This one sucked.