Love

You’d think I’d be back with some happy news after the last time I posted. Something about gummy kisses and impromptu hugs. But no. In fact, things have worsened way too much. So we had travelled to Kolkata about a week back to attend an important family event and were scheduled to return to home base three days back. Except, the little one fell sick. Very very sick. Respiratory tract infection. High fever. Antibiotics. Antibiotics causing diarrhoea. Horrible cough. And more. Between the wet sponges and rounds of medicines and blood tests, all I want is my happy, sunny, goofy little Anushka back. It’s selfish and completely off what should be the priority right now, but that’s all that seems to make my mind work right now.

It’s weird how while last week my worry was more about her meal times and her not budging beyond semi solids food stage and her addiction to babyTV, I would happily have last week’s status quo over this. I guess that’s how pansy parents are.

I just realised that tomorrow is valentines day. My.. err, valentine.. Or husband, this year, is all about being the father of the baby we are both worried sick over. So of course, red roses or other corny ideas of romance (that we thankfully gave up about a couple of years into marriage anyway) have been safely replaced by bickering over the correct dosage of the probiotics to be administered, snapping over the most trivial of things and stressing about how the night will pass. And in between all of that, I realise that love is fluid enough to find its way through these cracks. It’s in the reassuring glance while we wait for the thermometer to beep. It’s in him soothing the little one to sleep while I try and fight my own fever to get up and nurse her. It’s in him being off handed about my panic because he knows how easy my paranoia feeds off others’.

It’s in the two of us sitting and watching the little one sleep peacefully, before fever or a bout of coughing causes a whirr of activity. It’s in her wrapping her little finger around a strand of my hair while asking Papa for water.

I guess being feverish with love took on a whole new meaning.

Happy Valentine’s day to you! Please pray for us to get better and back home safe.