All Sorts of Milestones

Hello! (I can almost hear the echo of that, for there’s nobody here other than me). If someone checked (and massage my ego and say you did), I’m sorry for having disappeared on you without as much as a cryptic warning. I know the feelings of funny betrayal and missing someone and the twinge of why-world-why I feel when one of my favourite blogs goes underground one fine day. So if someone felt that way because of me, and I can almost see their angry faces squinting into their screens right now, please don’t be. Because I’m back. And for good.

So why I went under, first? Well, I became a minor celebrity and I realized not all fans deserve me 😀 No, that’s not it. I was stupid and naive and had always considered this blog as an open platform for interaction, but sometimes the clashing of the real and the virtual worlds comes in a way that does rattle you. Also, I learnt that I’m not that don’t-care-a-damn, in fact nobody I know is. While I did not get into any “trouble”, but it was unsettling to feel that my semi-anonymity clad personal thoughts/rants/goofs will be compared to who I am in other spheres. Am I openly airing that I have two personalities? Maybe, yes. There are so many people in our real worlds (acquaintances, colleagues, relatives) who don’t seem too keen on understanding or even listening to the intricacies of our personal lives, our stand on social issues or our inane fictional stories. In an ideal world, we’ll all have 10 people in our lives who would make up for this lack of understanding. But as far as the world is not ideal, schizophrenic personalities shall rule 🙂

Now, what took me so long to move to a new place and take you out of your misery? (I do take the liberty to assume I have a large-ish audience, don’t I?) Well, first was the decision to move at all. It was rather tempting to NOT have a blog at all. I felt that that very idea is liberating too. I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and subscribe to over 70 blogs on Reader, and I thought that if I still yearned for more virtual interaction, I first needed to get some help. Then the fact that I have had so many issues with blogging in the last few months also started to play on  my mind. Encouraging triviality, time consuming, mind games, not writing enough, writing enough and more in comments on other blogs – all things that have at some point coaxed me into shutting shop. I got over the interaction issue in a jiffy, because though Twitter is awesome fun, it’s not my medium. I feel under pressure on Twitter. Like I have a character limit in which to say what I want, and a time limit in which to say it before the world moves on to another hashtag. FB was never my medium in the first place, except that it’s the easiest to stay in touch with some people whom I don’t get to speak to on their birthdays any more or whose kids I won’t get to meet as often as I want to. Call me egotistical, but it also bothers me that my well-meant heated rant should be sandwiched between a ‘what colour is your heart’ and ‘X poked Y’ on someone’s wall. Linkedin, well, I don’t think that’s anybody’s medium at all 😀 So while blogging it had to be for me and all the other things that I had a grouse with about blogging, btw, stay. You know, once you’ve chosen a poison, you can’t expect it to be sweet and all that. Next, I realized that my burning desire to blogging notwithstanding, one needed a laptop to do something about it. Well, I had quit my job the same day I had taken the blog private and with it had gone my object of obsession – the laptop. The one spare abandoned laptop at home died a flickering death on me mercilessly. The laziness and the broke-ness ensured that a new purchase was deferred till some serious motivation was infused. But, the good husband came to the rescue and put in some jugaad and has managed to get me a spanking new (albeit, temporary) laptop to give my need for social networking a fresh lease. Actually, he got it for me to “move your ass and get that resume going” but I like to imagine things. Once that was done, my technologically challenged-ness took over. So there was the uh, how do I import these posts? Oh, what do I call the new blog – something not very different and yet just a little bit (hence, the unimaginative “Another Dark Comedy”)? Finally, I have learnt upon much googling that I cannot carry my old blog stats (and thus much ego) to the new blog, and in that sense, it’s got to be a fresh start. The rest of the stuff is sorted and here we are.

Next, what have I been upto? I quit my job. I know I said it already, but it’s worth saying twice when you’ve waited long enough to say it 😀 Oh, and through a series of unplanned events, it ended up being on a Monday! Is it a dream or what? Right now, I feel like the world is my oyster and there are so many possibilities in life. A month down, when the boredom starts to get to me and the lack of monies makes me pinch my pennies and the interviews or the lack of them are making me nervous, I’ll be right here ranting away I’m quite sure. Most importantly right now, I feel relieved like a bad dream is over. And that alone makes this move so worth it.

Secondly, we had our first wedding anniversary. A year of being together. One amazing, fun year of sharing life with someone I adore to bits. One year of growing up in many different ways. It sure feels like I’m into the journey in all ways now, and am up for everything to come. Here’s to us and our own little funny interesting lovely version of marriage 🙂 We celebrated with family in Kolkata, and had a really good time. And about the presents? Let’s just say that Steve Jobs got a bit richer, all thanks to us 😀 I had tall plans of squeezing in meets with a couple of blogger friends in Kolkata (specially Dipali), which never worked out 😐 It never works out with me. I have to make a very laidback plan to visit both Bangalore and Kolkata next time, so I can manage it.

Now that I’m at home, I have been obviously vegetating in front of the idiot box, refreshing my Twitter feeds obsessively and wasting time in new new ways. But if I’ve learnt anything from the past, it is that while I LOVE doing all this through the course of the day and never tire of it, depression sets in in the evenings when I realize what a waste of a day it’s been. And of course, the next day is just the same. So I did resolve to do at least one or two productive things every day since the very beginning this time. One good thing it has resulted into is a LOT of cooking. I love to cook, and I don’t know if I’ve said it before, I’m obsessed with food blogs, shows, recipes, pictures.. everything! Last few days gave me the time to shop for those rare ingredients, and to cook. And I’m happy to say that most of what I’ve cooked has turned out rather well. It’s not just me patting my own back; my (reluctantly) supportive family agrees as well 😀 The gymming has been rather regular too, but if the cooking and eating continues at this rate, I might consider an additional fun workout because well, the current workouts aren’t a suitable counter to how much I can hog!

Oh, and in the near future, since I did “move my butt”, I will be busy carpet-bombing the job market and day-dreaming about the vacation that starts next week. Yes, we’re off to Singapore for a Christmas vacation. I’m so excited. Loads of shopping is on the cards.. in fact, that’s my primary agenda on this vacation. Yayyy!!

And now, though I have a whole list of topics I have parked aside for “when I get the new blog going”, I will come back to say more. Specially on my 2011 resolutions. Yeah, I know resolutions are lame and not meant to be stuck to, but this time, I have an interesting list to put up and if I stick to half of it, a halo shall emerge on my head. So win-win.

Oh, and the reason for the title? Well, a milestone in married life. A milestone in career. And a milestone in blogging – this being the 100th post 🙂 100 posts in justshortof 4 years. I know, not a number to boast of. But something to be happy about, because I wrote exactly 50 posts in the last 3 years. And the last 50 in 10 months. Because I wanted to, and also because I made an effort to reach out to interesting people and they reciprocated. One the interaction began, 50 seemed like an easy target. Yes, I have my own concerns about this weird medium, but the little flutter in my heart on seeing a comment appear in my mailbox never seems to dull. A virtual audience caring enough to read through the monologues of a self-absorbed rambler AND leaving their thoughts in the comment box too? That NEVER happens in real life 🙂

Here’s to the 100th. May the next 100 take lesser than 4 years to come into being!

Be Blunt?

So that NaBloPoMo lasted exactly three days.. shortest month ever? 😀 But well, in my defence (which I don’t think I need to offer considering nobody asked), that tends to happen when your weekend has been busier than the week. For perspective, do know it includes one husband down with the sniffles, one person determined to spring clean like she’s on acid, and hosting 9 people for dinner at home. 

Well well, now that I have some time to myself – it being a workday and all – there’s something that’s on my mind today that I need to share.

 One thing I can never pride myself on is my temper or my control over it. I’m told I was a quiet, calm child but evolved into this monster ready to bite people’s heads off some time around teenage. And may I add I can’t quite counter that fact convincingly, for it is 100% true. But the eerie part is this: of late, I just don’t get angry. I get disappointed. You know what I mean? Running out of steam and letting the shit pile up.. letting go.. and feeling like not bothering. Sometimes, it seems like the nicer, grown-up thing to do.. at others, it’s like sitting on a bomb where you’re waiting for things to get unbearable enough. Why is this happening? I have a theory that being verbally angry takes the negativity out of your system, and actually clears the air. Agreed, it hurts people at the time but there are no repressed feelings. This, on the other hand, is like living with the negativity inside you, taking roots. Is it because I’m fed up? Is it because some people are too close to me to be fought with? Or is it that I know they won’t take it well anyway?

In other news, I am down with the sniffles now and simply hoping that it isn’t anything worse than just the common flu. Too lazy and tied up to see the doc. This is my personal version of living dangerously, it seems. 😀

I wish I had more ideas to write about, but I don’t. I’m in some sort of a funk, and I hate making an effort to blog in fact. I hate to come up with things to write – I expect things to come up so I can write about them. Now I totally understand why they have so many “farmaaish” programs on radio: no RJ wants to take the overwhelming task of coming up with music everyone will like every night, so might as well let the listeners choose! I wish blogging worked on a request basis as well 😀

Oh, I did want to boast that I made awesome butter chicken and biryani on Sunday, even if I say so myself. Unfortunately, there aren’t any pictures..  but I will take them the next time over. 🙂

What’s your news, peeps?

Alternate Reality

It’s a funny thing. You sit down to write, and all you find in your head are sentences running around, bumping themselves into the walls and waning away before they had the chance to be rescued. You are forever left chasing them, trying to make sense of them. Like, right now.

I could tell you about how my life needs literal and figurative de-cluttering right about NOW, and how little I have done to make it happen, despite this acute realization gnawing away at my limited reserve of sanity.

Or I could talk about how half-measures disappoint more than not making an effort at all, because vacillation is what I dread more than complete indifference.

Or I could talk about what movies I saw, why, with whom and what I have to say about them, but then there are these people who make their bread and butter off this kind of information, and I’m sure you’d rather get it from them.

There could be a fitness update here, but that would be more for me to refer to, the next time the instructor is making me want to burst into tears.

Or I could plaster a meme here, and think up witty answers that are also “technically” the truth.

Or I could just let the silence be. I could try and understand the hollowness that gapes through everything around it. I could, sincerely for once, drive the anger away. I could rediscover my love for aloneness and forget this irrational fear of loneliness. I could be a little less arrogant, perhaps.

But, let’s be honest. As much as I love writing and leaving behind crumbs of my life for posterity in these web pages, I’m more at a loss of words than in celebration of silence. There’s precious little I can do right now.

I’d love to know what you came here looking for?

You Ought to Know

So, I usually put my nose up in the air when someone mentions “Fashion”. Fashion? You lost me already.

But if you make it something the HauteCouture-challenged can understand and wear, I’m likely to be all eyes and ears. And if you make it shiny and silver, you’ve got me eating out of your hands.

This post is about a blog that talks about my kind of fashion. Stuff they blog about:

Wearable? Check.

Purchasable? Check.

Not meant for someone who’s atleast 2 feet taller than I am? Check!

Bingo!!

And right now, as you read this, they have a giveaway on:

Yuss, all this can be yours. Head over to the blog, send some love and win it fair and square, girls. Why am I then telling you about this, and not making away with the loot? Because *everything* has rules. Gah! 😀

Here’s wishing you all the luck 🙂

In Which We Inflict Boredom Upon Thee

I have nothing much to say and yet there’s a bunch of ideas. It’s disturbing that I keep writing posts which jump from one random thought to another. It’s especially disturbing since I’ve submitted my blog for review here. (Yes, I do plan on putting up their review on the blog, however good or bad humbling it turns out to be, but don’t hold your breath).

So my mind flits unabashed till the day they receive that they asked for. Here’s what I have – my garbled thoughts:

1. After a WHILE of resisting it, I’m realizing that FB birthday wishes are not such a bad thing after all. I held the grudge this long because I think it’s a sweet gesture to earmark a birthday in our mental calendar. In a typical setting of technology automating human effort, one little widget was wiping off the figment of our care for family and friends (not to mention, an exercise in keeping good memory). It also makes people forget about calling or even texting you on your birthday and it’s probably killing Hallmark, but I do realize now that it’s sometimes a thing to look forward to that people you haven’t spoken to in a year or two, will see that one update in the side window and will leave a message without the awkwardness that may come with a phone call. Like your boyfriend from 10 years back. And maybe, the figment of our care got tinier and we should be thankful for what we get.
2. I have no work at the office. This has more or less been the case since I returned from the vacation. This is NOT a bad thing. I know I risk sounding like someone who wants to get paid for browsing the net all day, but I would hate you if you guilt me for this. Because 1. It almost never happened to me in all of 2 years of working in this place. 2. It’s needed. 3. It’s not my fault.
3. My brother has been down with jaundice since last week. He’s such an attention freak! My mother, who loves to find something to worry about, is obviously super tense. But she told me this morning that she is very tired. I had this strange feeling you get when someone behaves out-of-character. My mother never says she is tired. It’s making me sad. And I really wish I was in Delhi.
4. Of all things that one can do to make themselves feel cheerful, my favourite is grocery shopping. I spent a glorious hour at Hypercity on Sunday morning, and cold cuts and cracked pepper cheese made my day better. At the same time, I hate Big Bazaar because of the ugly ‘Buy 4, Get 1 Free!’ humongous packs of everything they stock. When it comes to good things, less is more.
5. Friday – the husband’s birthday – was spent well. A chocolate cake, an X-box and a new watch made the boy happy. The weather played along, and it rained through the evening. We got a new car too and drove off for a family dinner while trying to figure out the dashboard buttons. Much fun!
6. As far as my career is concerned, I could well have made a job out of staring at a wall and still managed more “job satisfaction” than I do currently. I should really quit. If there ever was a reason to stay, I can’t seem to find it in my head right now. Mostly because my head is full of reasons why I should not stay and why I should never have stayed.
7. I seem to be getting the hang of Twitter finally. But s.l.o.w.l.y. Interestingly, I think of it like TV watching. I just read what other people have to say, and I almost never comment or reply. I feel tweeting is like shouting into space. In 140 characters, ofcourse.
8. Yesterday, I suddenly recalled the incident that happened just before my wedding. We were on the train to Kolkata where the wedding happened, and we met this pesky guy who claimed to know palmistry. Many people from my entourage got giddy with excitement, and I buried my nose even deeper in my book. He, however, politely declined most and said he was not comfortable with saying unpleasant things in public to anyone. I giggled. He then asked to read my palm. And the relatives (who can’t leave anyone alone) did the whole “Haanji, batao batao” thing. I am sure he guessed it from the way I was vehemently trying to dissuade everyone from making me do this, but he spoke at length about my temper. Or the ugliness of it. (So much for not wanting to say unpleasant things.) And he ended it with “Don’t lose temper at your wedding. It won’t be good.” And it really wasn’t pretty. Oh well.
9. Remember I wrote about my fitness plan hoping you, the readers, would kick my ass if I tried to go the ‘Fat Is In!’ route again? No? So much for blogging and accountability. Anyway, here’s an update. The gymming has been fun-tastic. In the manner of desperate boasting, let me bring to your notice that I went to the gym thrice even while on holiday. Slap me or cheer me! We did that because it helps stay motivated after coming back and not like “What’s the point? I neutralized so much effort in the last week”. Also, it helps hold on to that tiny shred of dignity upon return, when the trainer orders you to squat x 75. The eating is however a whole different story. It involves buffets, chocolate cake and biryanis. Today is the day we do crunches and other ab exercises. Or the day I pray harder.
10. Like I said, I have no work and that always means more time online. That, for me, means discovering more blogs. Blogging makes me believe I’m so different from and so similar to so many people in the world. It makes me crystallize my own thoughts on things I’d likely never have spent time thinking on my own. I read somewhere that reading on varied abstract topics expands the mind, making it more tolerant and absorbing. I can safely say that reading the blogs I read does that job as well as the books I read.
11. Speaking of reading, I’ve been trying to organize my reading habit. No buying more books before the ones I have, have been read. No picking up a new book before the one I’m reading is done with. Will you believe me if I say I still haven’t finished reading A Suitable Boy? I love that book but it weighs a ton, and can’t be travelled with. So. But will set that straight soon.
12. Speaking of being organized, I re-arranged my closet and the book shelf on Saturday. I then also tried to de-tangle the wire-bunch that I had been procrastinating on, for weeks. Gave up. Anyway, this fixing-what-ain’t-broke kind of cleaning I do is like an obsession. Does anyone else here believe folding clothes is strangely calming? What anti-depressants do you recommend?
13. I really didn’t want to write a long post about a mishmash of things today. And look now! Point no.13! I knew I should have done a tag instead.
14. Every time I go shopping, I end up buying stuff very similar to what I have. Does it happen to everyone? Like you *think* you know what looks good on you, and you buy a lot of that? Just to break the cycle, I decided to NOT go to the same stores I visit, the last time I went shopping. Guess what? I didn’t like anything. So then I got some silver necklace like the kinds I’ve never worn before. Baby steps.
15. I crave home-cooked rajma chawal almost everyday. Our very Bengali cook does not know how to buy/ cook “Raujmoh”. Sigh! So that’s one more thing to put on my To-Do-In-Delhi list.
16. The last two days have been cloudy but it refuses to rain. We’re walking around, looking up at the sky in anticipation. Still, I don’t want to be complaining because folks in Delhi have it worse than us, and also because it’s always heavily cloudy when I’m on my way to work and back. That is anyday better than being in the car when it’s sunny.
17. My MIL hasn’t been feeling well the last few days. It’s very different seeing her being so down and out. For the last year and a half I’ve known her, I’ve always seen her up and about. Gardening, cooking, cleaning. Sickness in the family pulls me down easiest.
18. I just remembered I have two C&H books I got from Bangalore to read. And I still haven’t watched Raavan. Is it THAT bad? Okay, if I HATE Bachchan Jr. and can JUST ABOUT tolerate his wife, how bad will it be to watch it just for Mani Ratnam and AR Rahman? Never mind, I know I’ll have to see it to conclude on that.
19. What is a really good time to run a 5K in, on the treadmill? And what is really lousy? I just want to know so that I can put on the blog how much time I take. Give me numbers, somebody!
20. I’m off now. Thanks for bearing this. Do tell what’s up with you. As you can see, you can really go all out and not worry about order / significance here 🙂

You'll just need to figure out the point yourself

The weekend’s done, and the Monday’s gone too. I have a good feeling about this week. Typically, given my work week and how it leaves me pulling my hair out on Friday evenings, that is a really bold statement to make on a Tuesday morning. Out here, we’ve learnt that sometimes Tuesdays can make up for the lack of crap on Monday in a way that Wednesdays start feeling insecure pretty early and get bitchy before they land. Thursdays don’t miss out on all the fun either, and Fridays don’t quite live up to the expectations we harbor from them. But still, a girl’s gotta take risks sometimes right?

Lots of stuff has been happening this side of your Reader/ Blogger / WordPress window. Not all good, certainly not all bad.

We saw LSD and Rocket Singh – Salesman of the Year last weekend. And I quite liked both. Even though I do not understand the significance of Ranbir Kapoor being a Sikh in the movie at all. It could be just like that, but really, why bother with all the makeup. Maybe, it would have contributed to the curiosity around the time of release but that’s about it. Anyway, the movie is quite well-made with all the actors fitting into their characters effortlessly. I always love movies with a cast of new actors for this reason – they haven’t been stereotyped yet, and the audience doesn’t have a reference point. What I did not like about the movie though is the capacity of the protagonist to keep taking shit. You can always argue that he is shown as a mere grad student in the big corporate jungle, but still, it just got unbearable at a certain point. Why is it suddenly acceptable for movie-makers to portray the newbies and the junior junta as very eager to work but not ask for anything in return, infact being quite welcoming with all the crap being flung about? I think we should nip this evil in the bud before the corporates learn a trick or two from these movies – like they should rate these movies as ‘UM’ i.e. for only sub-managerial position audience 😀

As for LSD, I’d say I was not supposed to like the movie and I went with that expectation. But the movie does make you sit up and notice. It’s an ugly truth, but you can’t help agreeing it’s the truth. The performances (almost all) and the cinematography are extremely real and they come together to tell the story exactly how it’s intended – like you just happened to be there, and seeing what is being shown. Also, Delhi viewers are likely to understand it much more, because the mannerisms and the language of the youth in the movie are all too familiar for us. However, the movie is disturbing in its own way, and doesn’t make for pleasant after-thought. Also: it’s not a movie to be seen with family / someone you’re on the first date with. 😉

In other news, I just noticed that I’ve posted 10 posts this year. Yayyyy!! I know, you’re looking around quizzically, but for me it’s a giant leap. If you haven’t noticed, I wrote all of 7 posts last year. Which means an average of just about 0.5 posts per month! Upped to an average of 4 posts per month this year. In consulting speak, that’s rationalizing your efficiencies and increasing productivity by 8x. It does sound like serious business now, doesn’t it? Keeping fingers crossed – oh wait, how will I blog with crossed fingers? On a serious note though, there’s so much more about which I do wish to write but the blog being public always comes in the way. I have been seriously contemplating an anon blog for a while, but then, I do not want to break away from this dark and comic blog of mine either. And God knows, I can’t write two blogs. I’m much too lazy for that. Oh while we are on the subject of blogs, can someone please give me some tips for dodging these Viagra and Dating adverts? At the moment, I don’t have a pressing need for either.

In yet another snippet of news, I’ve been slogging it in the gym pretty religiously of late (do note that ‘religiously’ is used subjectively and loosely). So far, I’ve been quite happy with going to the gym, panting like a dog, coming back chuffed at my “discipline”, downing a bar of Bourneville, and crying about never losing any weight. Did I mention the role of my trainer here? He has two roles: that of barking orders at me before I pant like a dog and that of taking away my hard-earned cash, somewhere after I down that bar and before I cry about my lack of weight loss. Seriously though, the guy cannot seem to understand WHY this particular client of his does not budge from her current weight, because from the information he has access to, I eat only greens and proteins (he should get one of those LSD cameras fitted in our fridge.. haha). So he did what all smart instructors will do – he has put me on a power workout or something horrendous sounding like that. It began last Friday. Let’s just say I have been missing my legs since. Oh, but NOT my calves, they are right there agonizing over this whole situation, and they let me know that every few minutes. I swore that I’d eat healthy from now on, AND then I went shopping for that kind of stuff. And I came back with awesome herbed cheese cubes and even bigger Bournevilles. It is a vicious cycle. It is.

Aur kya? Haan, almost everyone I’ve met in the last 3 months has asked me that question that I’m supposed to answer very coyly and demurely: How does it feel to be married? I look very blank, as if I’m trying to recall that it has happened. Sometimes I say “Oh, it’s just the same”. But I’ve noticed how it always disappoints the questioner. So now I charge into the situation with “interesting” details like how the family is different, how it’s fun, where we went for the honeymoon, and what I’m learning to cook. That seems to make the cut. Deep down, however, I feel depressed by the whole pressure to “feel” married. Like I am doing something wrong if nothing has changed.

Oh, btw, I finished reading Advaita Kala’s Almost Single. It made for a very good read, and for those into light reading with no real life-changing plots, I highly recommend it. I also picked up Greatbong’s May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss – which is howlarious! I’ll do a detailed review when I’m done though.

Three!

It’s been three years since I started blogging in this space. I wrote sporadically – often to vent, sometimes to share and rarely ever with a purpose. At the time this blog started out, I was interning as a Private Equity Analyst, tirelessly competing with a co-intern at using the shredder most efficiently. If I do remember correctly, the intern got a little carried away and stopped just short of shredding an important cheque. Clearly, we didn’t get any PPOs – pre-placement offers, for the uninitiated. Those wonderful things that let you breeze through the rest of your MBA with a smile on your face and a skip in your step – not to forget, with an ego to boot. If you do not get the PPO, of course, you think of it as a dot you will later come to when it’s time to connect backwards (I’m not even trying it. The one time I did, all the dots made a big fat circle that Aryabhatta also called the Zero). For at B-schools, they teach you one thing – Be Aggressive, or Be Optimistic.

But to leave the digressions for another day, a lot has happened since that rather carefree and eventful internship. I completed my MBA, got a job, went back to stay with family, was in a long distance relationship, discovered that the job sucks, moved to Mumbai and lived alone, held onto effed-up job, and got married. Sadly, the blog doesn’t even capture a tenth of it. The words don’t always flow and there’s something scary about saying everything on the www. At the same time, blogging is probably addictively cathartic and even if unpublished, memories are parked as Drafts. So, on the third anniversary / foundation day of this holy shrine, the Soul of Alec Smart has an idea. Let me tell you a little bit about these 3-minute authors aka bloggers, and what they obsess about:

Vital stats: From “45 people visited this site yesterday. Hallelujah, I’m so loved! Do you think my novel on ‘How to Make Kickass Circuit Diagrams’ will find a publisher?” to “Just 6 people bothered with this thing today. Why did I even imagine anybody would be interested in my rants?” in just 36 hours, that’s us!

No Comments: Reader comes, reader goes. Not even a +1 to ‘My Comments’ it shows. Generations of bloggers have tried to decode the psyche of the de-lurker. The one who spends 34 minutes reading our funniest posts and doesn’t even smile (i.e., leave a smiley), or the one who under the influence of our most passionate rants does not go “Aye, Aye!”

Taggin’ along: Why does nobody on the blogosphere think I’m a Kreative Krafter or an Honest Scrapper? You know, those cute little badges with virtual award trophies being passed around from blog to blog, complete with demanding to know a few random things about the awardee. How come nobody wants to know 8 honest facts about me.. I can cook up some really unusual ones.

Troll alert: A troll is to a newbie blogger what Punjab Kesari must be to Celina Jaitly. As good as it gets, and better than no press at all. To a seasoned blogger, however, a troll is an unmistakable sign that you’ve made it big. Get your own troll NOW!

Ctrl C Ctrl V: You know when you go all “Wow, this blogger and I really think alike. Hey, that’s what I feel too. Haha, I know the exact feeling. I use that phrase SO often. Hang on, I did use that phrase just the same way last week.. in JUST THE SAME POST.” Plagiarism in B-school was perceived as the most heinous crime and punished severely, but plagiarism in the blogging world my friend – once caught – will haunt you forever. Learn to change your IP address first!

Non-Disclosure: Anonymous bloggers often wonder if the fact that this new commenter called AnyOtherBlogger is really the cousin who “incidentally” spoke to you about the weather, right the day after you posted about.. guess what?… the weather!! You’re sure she’s upto something, you’re sure she’s guessed, you’re sure she’s laughing. Ok, that might be just me.

I’m sure there are bloggers out there who can add to this list, so come on! (Don’t fall for it, I’m just doing this to get you to comment, you FOBs).

Really meant in good jest. (Trolls, don’t listen to me.)

🙂